Aiming for the PMA of a glow worm....

[TryingToDo180]

At the end of the day, who cares why he doesn't like it or what he thinks, lol. It's up to you now and if others like it then it obviously looks good on you From what I've seen under your halloween costume it looks good

[Not Quitting]

Thanks TTD .

I was going to someone to take a picture of my son in uniform and I yesterday, but everyone was busy with Remembrance Day stuff at both Legions and dad was replacing the toilet when we got home so it didn't happen. Maybe one without the uniform so that perhaps I can get my son to smile - not something he'll do in uniform as he says he should be serious then.

[TryingToDo180]

yes that'll be good

[Not Quitting]

Well, no surprise really but H didn't turn up. I texted him when I got home from work to tell him a package had been delivered here for him and his response was that he'd be round "shortly ish". He called about about hour and half later to say that he'd been roped into helping count the money from the poppy boxes so he wasn't going to make it.

He wanted to apologize to our son and get him to hide the package (seems its my Christmas present from my son which I'm not supposed to know about LOL). Not sure why he had it delivered here, but he did . My son wasn't too fussed about his dad not turning up, except that it means he wasn't going to be late to bed. Although saying that, he actually went upstairs without too much moaning when it was that time.

[TryingToDo180]

That's good Your son's growing up quickly They do these things to keep us on our toes I think or maybe it's just habit. It's the same with my H, why would he give them the house phone number when he doesn't live here anymore.

[Not Quitting]

Maybe it's just more proof that their minds aren't working normally

I know my son's growing up quickly - hopefully not too quickly. He needs to enjoy his youth as it only comes round once . Saying that, he's really excited about going to the Santa Claus Parade on Sunday. It's just the first of a number of Christmas events he's got planned for us to attend. He's also getting excited about being able to help with the decorations outside this year - normally H does that job by himself. In the past, S13 and I were responsible for decorating the tree while H did outdoors and some of the indoors, but this year my son and I will be doingeverything ourselves.

[TryingToDo180]

That's good that your son's got Christmas events planned, you'll soon feel christmassy My son is doing this social action project until the end of November so we won't start doing Christmas activities until December
You're correct in that our H's minds aren't working correctly. I was wondering whether they are thinking of home, but then I shouldn't be mind reading, lol.

[Not Quitting]

H turned up tonight - eventually. He spent some time on the computer with S13, then when S13 came off to get ready for bed H stayed on the computer accessing the cell phone bill (we're staying on our current family plan until the contract expires at the end of this month) and calculating his share and mine.

After our son went to bed, H hung around and chatted. He felt the need last night, even before our son went off to bed, to chat mostly about his latest weekend trip with OW. Who cares . He then switched to moaning and whinging about his lack of money - seriously . He's just spent over an hour going on about a weekend away, then he's whining about having to pay rent, his Lodge fees, his Legion fees, his CC bill, etc, etc, etc. And whining about having to go home and count and roll the change in his change box so that he can pay me his share of our debt settlement payment which is due next week and this week's child support payment. And then, when he leaves, he calls a cab instead of using his prepaid bus pass and taking the bus

And of course he had to make some comment about my dad and bring up OW more than once - two shots at making things uncomfortable. I just wanted to tell him to go away very impolitely. It was the a$$ version that turned up last night.

He's coming over again tonight - making up for last Sunday when he was away and this coming Sunday when he refuses to do a "family" thing and come to Santa Claus parade with us. I'm really hoping that it is the nicer version of H that turns up today - don't know if I can take the a$$ version two days in a row. I might not be able to keep from telling him to go away impolitely.

[melissag]

Ugh. The a$$ version of your H sounds just a bit self-absorbed and delusional . . . on so many levels. Good for you for refraining from impolitely telling him to leave - I am sure that was an act of olympic strength. I will keep my fingers crossed that you get a better version of H tonight.

BTW, do you notice any correlation to your behavior? i.e., does the a$$ version come out under certain circumstances depending on how detached you are? Or is it just all about him and where he is at the moment?

[Not Quitting]

Hey melissag. I make an attempt to act the same around him regardless of how he is - of course, it's not always easy to smile and act 'as if' when he's being an a$$.

It does seem to be mainly all about him and where he is at that particular moment. Sometimes his behaviour seems to be partially linked to how his day was at work and, although he probably doesn't think I know this part, if he's had a bad interaction with OW. One major example of that last part comes to mind - we were out for the evening and were having a really good time, laughing, chatting, just like old times. OW called - I know it was her because H took the phone outside to talk. A mutual friend came in while he was outside on the phone and stopped to talk to me, letting it slip that H was arguing with someone on the phone. When H came back in, his mood had changed and he had become grumpy and sullen and started finding things in our R to pick fault with, whereas before the call there had been no R talk at all.