Well im certainly no expert, none of us really know what the right thing is or the wrong thing to do is, each sitch is different.

I certainly have my opinions between dealing with a WAS and a MLC'r. I don't want to rehash what became a very hot topic, even between many vets. DB'n is about saving yourself, if the marriage is saved, great, but if not you come out of it in a better place for going thru the process.

So whats right for you and your situation right now? My opinion is do what YOU think is right. Can you push her further away? Can she come back? I get this feeling in your posts that you think you didn't do enough to make her feel chased/wanted. In your case was showing a little chase helping or hurting? I think you thought it wasn't hurting, but it wasn't helping.

Now you've gone thru this period where you backed off, and so has she. Your afraid, and maybe im reading too much into your posts, that you need to step it back up a little to more or less test the water. Is that right or wrong?

I certainly understand where your at trying to decide the next step. You are worried that these last few interactions will be the last before you hear the words: divorce filed. Your worried that maybe a lil' bit more effort would have made a difference.

I don't know the answer, no one does, many will tell you to stick to DB cause in the end, its about saving you. But you, like me were using a tweaked version of DB. So here we are, someone stuck in the middle, and a little lost in our own confusion. You feel your in a perilous spot with your next attempt(s). Its all just slipping away in your mind? Although you are ok with moving on, you don't want it over in this fashion cause of the regrets of not doing enough maybe?

Here's the thing, over your threads, you've put in a lot of work, stopped holding onto that rope as tight. Having lovingly detached, but held on to hope that you can both work thru this. Maybe you thought your wife is/was a WAS, maybe she's got a bit of both WAS and MLC now? My point is, I don't think its about you so much. Your wife is obviously struggling with herself. The only thing you can do at this point is be supportive of her need to go thru the process.

I don't see anything wrong with YOUR need to see where you stand. You need to do whats best for you at this point. If its sending a text of asking her how she's doing, that's for you, not her so much. Not to say you don't care how she's feeling, but its more about what type of interaction its going to be for you. If you don't get a response again, or if she answers back in a certain way gives YOU what you need at this point. Maybe it will help, maybe it wont, but you obviously need to see if theres something there for you, time to let go?, or time to reaffirm your need to keep standing?

Waiting, or sending something funny leaves that wiggle room for doubt or a non-response either way. I think, and maybe im wrong, you need more of an answer, one way or the other. You've still been holding onto that rope, but its been slipping thru your fingers a bit, and theres only a few feet left of rope to get a hold of before theres nothing left to hold onto if that makes sense.

I understand you either need that answer (not a final resolution, but an idea) to hope or let go. Don't mistake your need to have some kind of answer for yourself, and it not being about what your wife is doing so much.

In regards to the alien text. I think that's a bad idea, cause it almost makes it sound like she's the one with the issues. She might take it a different way. Your just trying to make it funny. I think option 1 is perfectly acceptable. After all, its the response your interested in.