Yep...that's why people refer to this as a "roller coaster" a lot of times. The advice here is to get off the ride. Lovingly detach.
Originally Posted By: dingo
I also said that I hope she changes her mind but that while I don't agree with her decision, I support it.
I think that was pretty good....solid. You should have left it at that though.
Originally Posted By: dingo
I let myself get sucked into the 'more of the same' conversation.
...but I couldn't stop myself.
I'm going to challenge you here....you have the power. You just have to make the choice to not engage in it.
Originally Posted By: dingo
I am the only person giving her real advice that's not 'do what makes you happy' crap and even if it has to come from me, I think she has to hear that side of it.
And yet, you're probably the last person she'll listen to. You are doing an awful lot of negotiating....it doesn't work. There is no logic to this...you can't convince her. The best thing you can do is stop where you started above...
Originally Posted By: dingo
Interestingly enough, I don't think this has to do with the OM.
I'm not sure I agree. The end of an affair is a really tough time. Depression isn't uncommon. I think Sandi already talked about how this might affect her....reread that.
Originally Posted By: dingo
I asked her if she thought about seeing a psychologist for depression and she laughed in my face but I definitely think its a contribution to the problem.
You are still trying to fix this....you can't. If she wants your help, she'll ask for it. You volunteering it is just going to push her farther away.
I think the best thing you can do right now is focus on you. GAL, work on the things that make you the H only a fool would leave, live your life. Be consistent in your actions. So what are you doing?
Hang in there man....this is tough stuff and while you can't control it, you can control how you react to it.
