MLC at age 32?

[flgurl84]

Hi Lost,
Thanks for stopping by.
I re-read your posts. DO NOT CONTACT HIM.

I moved out of our home in early Sept, and silly me, I expected him to call me. NOPE. Heard nothing for a good two weeks, until I contacted him because I needed stuff from the house.

You may think you don't have expectation, YOU DO. I did. Even when I got back to my home, I expected him to be there, I expected him to want to talk. NOPE AGAIN.

I still have no explanation of what is going on in his head, how he feels about us or what he really wants to do. I've gotten silly MLC talk (which you've read in my posts, renting a room ha!) But that's it.

People will badger you. That is a hard part. His family and mine are very worried about me, and feel that I need to DEMAND him to make a decision. But what good would that do? When people on the boards say it is the LBS's decision it really is. I am choosing to stay for about a year, due to finances. If this time next year we are still in the silly waffling game, then I will say, OK its times for me to get my own house and you can rent your room.

But since you H is MIA, all you can do is DROP THE ROPE. Drop it. You are your only responsibility. That's how I look at my life. Not in a hostile way, well at first it was. I walked around my house thinking to myself, "I'm not touching those dishes they are HIS, I'm cooking my OWN dinner, I don't give an EFF what he eats, I'm doing MY laundry, I'm cleaning MY room, I'm walking MY dog, I'm leaving the house, I'm watching TV, ME ME MY MY, I I I ME!" But then the anger fades and it atleast for me, it has turned into a roommate situation. I don't do his dishes, because they are his and he acknowledges that. If he asks about planning to eat together, he has to tell me ahead of time, because my dinners are already planned, and if he wants to do something with me or go out, I need to know.

But you are not there yet, atleast I don't think you are.

I've found the board is a great journal. I love journaling but the hand cramps from writing are no fun. Typing is better for me.

Also, making a schedule for yourself is helpful. Even if it is just mundane things.
For example, my normal schedule:
Monday
8:30-4PM- Work
4:30-6:30 Home, feed Paw, chores, check email/reg. mail, put on music, walk Paw for 30min.
7PM- dinner
8-9pm-pleasure reading
9-10Pm TV relax Bed!
I give myself time limit for things, especially sitting and watching TV, which although I love to do, I get sucked in and then I feel depressed that's all I did.

You may think you have NOTHING to do, but if you force yourself to get out and do something, anything, you will find yourself actually busy!

I mean, my week is CHOCK full! Monday was my orchid society, Tues is girls night with BFF, Wed is visiting with Mom, Thurs is walk night with MIL, Fri I'm going out with BFF, Sat is for me and Paw and my garden, maybe visiting other friends/family, Sunday is Church, doing chores and getting ready for work week. I still have to fit in groceries, look at bills, and trying to relax!

Just some advice. But since your H is MIA still, leave him be. No contact unless you have to for house/bill/pets etc. I read you want him to know you are still a friend. If and when he reaches out to you, and you Act As If, that will be your time to show him.

I have contact with H, and I still initiate none of it. I would LOVE to text him just to say Hi I'm thinking of you, but NO. I don't ask him if and when he'll be home, I only ask if he's staying when he is home, and I don't let the answer affect me. I don't ask him anything about anything, but he is starting to tell me more and more, volunteering more info about his day, his schedule.

It takes time, but you have to be strong. I'll be checking in on you