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#2401474 11/06/13 03:48 PM
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My married sister is in a 7 month relationship with a married man. She says they are only friends but says she has feelings for him. I have tried to talk her in to ending this without any luck. I guess she is in the fog I have read about.

Something that is not making sense to me is that this other man has told her he will not have sex with her until "after marriage". My sister has also told me he has had testicular cancer and is sterile (I'm glad this jerk cannot reproduce). Other than being gay or unable to get it up why would a man not want to have sex? Is my sister's relationship one-sided?

Any comments or advice?

Lee Leaha #2403401 11/12/13 11:16 AM
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Welcome to DB

Have you read the DB or DR book?

Yes it sounds like their relationship is doomed.

However it is not your job to FIX it.

A 180 might be to keep quiet and speak with actions not words.


Me-70, D37,S36
Cadet #2403426 11/12/13 01:28 PM
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Unless this is one of those "I have this friend who..." stories, I'm not sure you can get help here or what kind of help you need. This is your sister's issue. All you can do is support her as a sister.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
labug #2409716 11/30/13 08:41 PM
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Based on what you're telling us, this seems pretty normal. He is in love with her, but he knows he shouldn't start a serious relationship with her until he's divorced his wife.

So, although of course he shouldn't have gotten involved with another girl at all while being married, this simply shows that at least he has the conscience not to go so far as to sleep with her as long as he shouldn't. So maybe he's not as much a jerk as you think.

Or is there something else, which you're not telling us?


Me 50 Her 41
Together 18yr Married 3yr
Son 2

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