My ex counseled a friend not to cheat on his wife - about a year before he cheated on me! Go figure.
I think it is part of the disease, that they think it doesn't apply to them, and that they have to come up with rationalizations to justify their irrational behavior.
That being said - I no longer feel betrayed by my ex's affairs. I'm able now to look back and think, maybe he just needed to be somewhere else/ with someone else. I'm not even upset anymore by his crazy putdowns (I walk too heavy? Really????).
What I DO feel betrayed by, is his financial abandonment of our adult children, leaving me solely on the hook for thousands and thousands of dollars helping them, when he makes 3 times my income. His selfishness in this situation is not only a betrayal of me, but of our children.
