It's still football season-when's my bye week?

[reachingHigher]

We all went to church as a family. Today was all saints day so we lit candles for those who had passed the last year, including my FIL. W and I sat next to each other. She leaned over and asked if I would light the candle. I agreed to do so of course.
.....I'm not sure what to make of it all. It was a real honor to stand up front with her mother and our family and light the candle in his memory.

This is so sweet, Mtnman. I'm guessing this is a very difficult time for your W, daddy's little girl. It looks like she really trusts you, and that is so good, so positive.

I've been thinking today about why I still want her. Looking at her in church, she has gained weight, she obviously got home late last night or this morning and hadn't showered, she has treated me worse than a dog, and has hurt our children more than I thought possible. So, why? Why do I still love her? I don't know, but I do. Love could be the only thing stranger than mlc.

Love is a wonder. I was pondering love recently, too. I think love is stronger than loss of trust. It appears to be so.

I'm so glad you feel this longing for her still. That you haven't given up yet. Despite the ten lonely months.

Thinking of you,
rH

[RosaLinda]

Mnt Man, you, and a couple of others on this forum, are the man my H used to be. I'm so happy to hear you still love your W so; I still love my H too, even though he's sort of an empty shell of the man he was. For better or for worse.

I agree with you rH, that love is even stronger than trust, and believe the trust will return if we can keep our love lights lit.

[Mtnman]

Thank you rH and Rosa. It's far and away the hardest thing I've ever done. If nothing else it's taught me about sacrifice.

Rosa, you evidently had a pretty good dude at one time. My wife was top notch too. It's impossible to give up on them. I pray sometimes that I would quit caring but I can't.

I read Amy Cs old posts often to remind myself what my W is going through.

rH, the morning after my questions about love, the scripture for the day was I Corinthians 13. Exactly what I needed.

[reachingHigher]

rH, the morning after my questions about love, the scripture for the day was I Corinthians 13. Exactly what I needed.

How fitting!

I'll be looking forward to hearing how your weekend goes!

[Mtnman]

Hi rH! It's been a busy week and weekend. Boys have basketball practice everyday during the week which pushes meals, homework and the bedtime routine into a smaller window.

Wednesday evening I was able to meet friends at the church gym for some basketball for me. We had a ton of fun and are hoping to start doing it weekly. I went at it too hard but only know one speed.

Friday I left the boys with W and went to the football game. Was able to spend some time with my dad, brother, uncles and cousins. The boys seemed to be happy to spend time with W and she with them.

Yesterday I worked in leaves all day. Cleaned gutters and got them out of the yard. I was exhausted when I finished. W did compliment how good the yard looked and asked if I did something different this year. I told her no, it just always looks so clean after you finish and you forget from year to year. She commented about where she is staying at her mothers and of all the leaves there. Her statement was, "I guess I forgot how bad the leaves can be since I've been living up in fantasy land for so long." I simply chuckled. Fantasy land. Our home is now fantasy land.

Church today, meal with parents and then we will play the sport of choice.

Happy Sunday everyone!

[JFun51]

Rosa, you evidently had a pretty good dude at one time. My wife was top notch too. It's impossible to give up on them. I pray sometimes that I would quit caring but I can't.

I read Amy Cs old posts often to remind myself what my W is going.

Mtnman,

I think this is the reason that we are all here. It would be a whole heck of a lot easier to give up and walk away to remove yourself from the destruction. I just can't bring myself to stop caring about W and remembering what a beautiful, strong woman she is/was. We put ourselves through this fire because we believe in someone when they don't even believe in themselves.

Lots of leaves here in Western NC right now aren't there? The people that drive just to look at them changing colors wouldn't enjoy them near as much if they had to pick them up. It's on my agenda tomorrow.

Have a great Sunday afternoon!

[Mtnman]

The leaves were nice this year JF. I'll get to work them up again in a few weeks and hopefully I'll be finished.

Thank you to all the veterans on here. I read something this morning that seemed to sum it up best. They sacrificed their today, for our tomorrow.

[reachingHigher]

Thank you to all the veterans on here. I read something this morning that seemed to sum it up best. They sacrificed their today, for our tomorrow.

This is a beautiful quote, Mtnman, thank you for sharing it.

Boys have basketball practice everyday during the week which pushes meals, homework and the bedtime routine into a smaller window.

I guess you kind of operate as a single man, huh? I hadn't thought of that.

Wednesday evening I was able to meet friends at the church gym for some basketball for me. We had a ton of fun and are hoping to start doing it weekly. I went at it too hard but only know one speed.

I'm so glad you take time to do this for yourself.

Friday I left the boys with W and went to the football game. Was able to spend some time with my dad, brother, uncles and cousins. The boys seemed to be happy to spend time with W and she with them.

I'm glad to hear there is a more comfortable dynamic with your W and your boys.

I simply chuckled. Fantasy land. Our home is now fantasy land.

My H had a lot of amnesia with every day things. My theory is that they convince themselves home and spouse are so bad they have to leave (physically or emotionally) and when they start to come around they see things weren't that bad after all.

The fantasy land comment is similar to my H's post on FB last year that he was now seeing life through rose-colored glasses. They are divorced from reality.

Happy Sunday everyone!

Thanks, Mtnman.

[ForeverYoung]

I just want to say that I totally agree with you guys... After so many good years together with our spouses, we know the truth... We had a good thing going.

Our marriages wouldn't have lasted two or three decades if this wasn't the case. Because of this, I too find it impossible to give up on my wife as she goes through such a difficult period in her life. I've gone through some tough periods while standing, but it actually seems to be getting easier now. I feel like our M will make it, and eventually be better than ever. But even if it doesn't, I know I will be fine. And you will be too.

[Mtnman]

Thanks rH and FY. rH, I have been functioning as a single parent for almost two years. W is starting to make progress in helping. It's real similar to having a baby sitter, as much as I hate to call it that.

I'll be out of town for a night so I've got frozen pizzas in the freezer. It's kind of funny.

Couldn't agree more FY!