Truth of it all is that I am doing things around the house to keep everything going. It's been that way for months. Washing clothes, doing dishes, sweeping floors, etc. have never been things I shied away from. These used to be things we shared. W has just shut down from her previous life. This isn't a new revelation, or a bargaining tool, just the facts of trying to keep a household going.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Same here J. My H used to always get on the housecleaning, laundry all that stuff, now he barely will. So I understand that. Feels like you have to just keep it going.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
It's funny how similar they are. Mine was/is the exact same. Started doing more and more just to keep things functioning. Eventually, you end up doing it all. It was nice practice for when she moved out. I went from three kids back to two.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
Nothing really new. I've been doing basically all the housework for about 6 months. Depression was fully set in well before BD in July. Only I can figure is that as I've started doing more with the kids that it's moving more into her territory and that has created this reaction.
BTW, I picked up boys from practice and we went to eat at a new restaraunt with another dad and his son. At the same time W was out with her BFF at another restaraunt. We all had a good time separate of each other. Ironically, I tried to encourage her to do more of those things years ago. It always seemed like she thought she was shirking her responsibilities as a mother by trying to be herself. I think this is one of the things that has contributed to this terrible struggle for her.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Just left the bank. House payment hasn't been made since the last time I had a talk with her about getting our finances under control. We were 2 payments behind. Also found out there is another account with her name and another person on it. Hard to control my emotions right now.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Since my name is not on the account, lady at the bank couldn't tell me the other name. My guess is OM, BFF whose had financial struggles, or her mom in anticipation of leaving. Either way, pi$$es me off that she has let our financial security go. I don't care if she loves me or not, the children have to have a house and transportation. I can ignore lots of behavior, but not this. She has also opened up 2 credit cards in my name without my knowledge. Not ours, mine.
I will approach this with as little judgement and blame as possible. I know I share in this because I have not taken a more active role in our finances. Gonna try to avoid a big nasty blow up tonight. I know this will become whatever I let it become. I am in control of how the convo goes.
Any advice from vets would be greatly appreciated on this front. How can I approach this subject without coming off as a parent?
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
