I'm sorry that you need to be here, but you are in great hands with all of the wonderful people here to give support, listen to you vent, and give great advice.
If you have not read Divorce Remedy yet, you definitely need to do that. It will give you a much better understanding of what we are all doing here!
If you have been spiteful and your W thinks you are spiteful (even though you have showed her otherwise as of late), then yes, you need to do the opposite and not be spiteful! Once one's views of another become ingrained over months and years, it is more than just a little work to get them to see things differently. You have to be super consistent, and sometimes for a long while before she will notice and/or believe it's going to stick.
I understand why they do it, but moderation is definitely a drag. Just keep posting on your own thread and give advice/support where you can on others' threads. I think it took me over a week to get off of moderation - maybe closer to two - but I'm not sure that's the norm. Just hang in there, keep posting, and one day you will be off moderation and be able to fully participate and get great advice quickly.
Hang in there - looking forward to hearing your story, and hope we can help!
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
