Originally Posted By: Iva

Some that know what I am trying to do, think I should pursue more and try to convince him but I don't believe this is the appropriate position, he will either come to it or he won't.


I think when the WAS and LBS change places like this, that the WAS does need to do some pursuing of the LBS. WAS's tend to be VERY cold and indifferent towards the LBS when they leave them, and if you give him time and space now he's likely to interpret that as "more of the same" behavior. You don't want to go into full blown pursuit because that will be too much, but you do need to reach out to him and pursue him a bit to let him know you're serious about reconciling.

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I want my husband back I need to do the required work on me that will make that happen, because even if we do reconcile it cannot be the same relationship as before.


Quite right, and you should stress to him that you don't want to go back to that, but you are interested in building a new R and M with him.

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We did talk and he said he did not want to get my hopes up. We did end up spending the night together not sure if that is wrong or not, but the next time I saw him he was keeping his distance but he did ask me to stay and watch some of our favorite tv shows that he had recorded. I also noticed that he had kept the cake toppers and the goblets from our wedding and had them on display. Trying not to read too much into that either.


All good signs. Just don't expect too much too soon. It's going to take him a while to warm back up to an R with you. Give him that time, don't rush things.

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I have been reading the Dbing books and trying to keep things light and not pressured. I need to practice not contacting him and letting him initiate contact and leaving before he requests it give it a little mystery.


Well again, I think your sitch is a little different because he was the LBS. Do contact him, just don't overwhelm him. Keeping things light and low pressure = good.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57