I think cheating spouses see themselves as different than others who do this. My W said "I've done everything possible to save this marriage" I almost gagged. I said "if nagging is everything then yes you did!" They see the "evil" that the LBS has done to them e.g. "you weren't there for me emotionally" etc as a valid reason to go elsewhere. They legitimize their actions to make them seem moral and as something that either could not have been helped (by them, anyway) or that old fave, "it just happened" Again, "I didn't plan it...it just happened". Of course, that all time favourite the "soul mate" is something that they see as fate, nothing to do with their choices. I think cheating spouses are very good at seeing the speck in someone else's eye but missing the log in their own...Hmmm, where have I heard that before?
