Taking it easy today. Nice to have Veterans Day off in honor of all who have served and continue to serve our country.
Made personal pizzas and cheesy garlic bread for lunch. I asked W if she wanted to fix one and she said no thank you. She did come down after a while and ate some garlic bread.
Got to work harder on my PMA without superiority.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Whenever I ask a tough question or point something out, I only do so because it's something I had to work on, figure out, etc, otherwise I probably wouldn't pick up on it in your posts and know enough to ask the questions...
I'm still working on all this stuff...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
I think the superiority thing is a general personality flaw of mine that I need to work on. I'm not sure if it feels a need or if I've always been that way. It is clearly something that is not appealing about me. During R talks and arguments since BD, W has told me that I am "condescending" and said "don't think you couldn't mess up the way I have." Bingo!
Weird vibe around here today. An edge every time W looks at me. No words to speak of. Then she got into busy body mom mode and cleaned out her closet and got angry at everyone else in the house for not cleaning up their rooms. Both boys got a fave full of this. This is an old weekend pattern in which we would all lay around and do nothing until the weekend was almost over and she would get frantic and edgy about what the house looked like. I suppose this is part of her cycling and trying to work things out.
To watch her bounce from one personality to another is confusing for all of us. I worry about my boys. It's not regular moodiness, it's like channel surfing.
W is dropping boys off at bball practice and going to eat with BFF. I hope it helps her feel better.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Good point, true. For example, jfun, I was sweeping up the leaves outside our entryway (LOTS of leaves) and then sweeping all the leaves that tracked into our house. My H had been commenting on this for weeks now, sounding like he was going to do it. But I didn't do that because he commented or because I wanted him to feel guilty, I did it because I wanted to clean up the mess. I'm also doing more general housekeeping than I used to do, a 180 for me, not because he wants to see that more. But it makes me feel better to keep my home tidy. It's the one mess in my life that I CAN clean up, lol.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
Not my intention to make her feel guilty. My job gets a lot easier starting now. I always have more time to be involved and do things in the winter. One thing that she has always freely admitted is that I don't mind helping around the house and with chauffeuring the boys when I can.
W has always been type A personality in every phase of her life. She is that way at work, at home, and in her family. She has always been "in charge" and "handled it." I am guilty of letting her do that for years in our M. As our roles are changing, it's upsetting her already fragile world.
I'm afraid that this anger that she is showing us only going to get worse. Harder to maintain civility and protect our children if this grows. I'm digging in and getting ready for the long haul.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
