It didn't take 10 minutes for me to find a box in her closet with Thanksgiving "love" presents to her girlfriend...love notes, gift receipts, empty jewelry boxes, concert receipts, and my favorite of all, a dozen CD's filled with images of them both - kissing, hugging, on the beach, in bed, etc. My other favorite find was a note to self - "should I file for divorce in NC - need 12 months separation...FL 6 months..I'll have to wait until December! Need liabilities and finance report, $3000 retainer!" A close third was another note about "what's mine is mine and what's his is MINE!" Yeah, so that pretty much seals the deal for me - the W is stringing me along, just as I thought, until she gets her FL residency and then she'll file in a no fault state and walk away with everything.
Holy cow, I've read a lot of snooping stories on here but I have never read of anyone discovering a cache like that! I don't even know what to say. Very sorry you had to go through the heartache of seeing all of that. Certainly it sounds like she is stringing you along to get what she wants, she all but said that in those notes. We're all for doing everything to save marriages here, but we also fully support people in protecting themselves and their kids and I think with this trove of evidence it's time to lawyer up. I would take that whole pile to the lawyer and let them evaluate it. If you're not in a no-fault state then it would put you in a favorable position as far as negotiations go.
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And then I looked at the cell phone records and stuff in the closet and realized I'm just a fool.
You're not a fool for trying to work on your M. All of us here are working on our M's against incredible odds with WAS's that are totally done, many of which are involved in affairs of some sort. We work hard to make ourselves into the spouse only a fool would leave, and if they leave anyway, well then THEY are the fool.
