THINK LIKE HARE MOVE LIKE A TORTOISE

[Ambivalent]

Okay...here is what I composed...


Hey!

I can't do Tuesdays and Thursdays. How 'bout Wednesday?


Yesterday I noticed you filled up the car. That was such a pleasant surprise, I really appreciate it, thank you.

A.

I thought I should thank him for filling up the car, I HATE going to gas stations all the time. I miss the days when there was service.

So any input?

[makingmagic]

Hi Ambiv... too much convo...(I know you want to engage, I do too...but I understand less and to the point is better).

"Hey!
Wednesday is better. Thanks for the gas, much appreciated. A."

About the books, I thought your insight on MLC was from a book, I'd like to read where you were getting that info from, I'd like to know if my h is similar to yours and what to do about it.

Tx, MM

[beatrice]

Hi, again good, but I think (unless you have sent it) for the gas refill it could be shorted

"Thanks for filling up the car. I appreciate it."

But absolutely right to thank him for it. I always try to act as I would want to be treated. That is my rule of thumb for dealing with difficult people as well as the nice ones.

[Ambivalent]

Making Magic,

I've been reading Hero's Wife. Tons of stuff to read in articles .

Beatrice,

I did send it. I'll try for more brevity when given another chance. For now, it is at least a step in the right direction.

The last hunting trip he filled it up and I thanked him personally. He pointed out that he did that. Still seeking my approval. So I want to give him that, it is a very nice thing to do. He could just hand me money to cover what he used...instead he filled it. Something like that means the world to me!

Focus on the positive, push away negative thoughts.

[Ambivalent]

Journal Entry:

Working out last night allowed me to sleep, only awakened once, dog needed to go potty. After that slept 'til 7:30. Still tired, slept until later. I usually don't do that, but my body is trying to tell me something.

Read some more of Angela's thread , got some more insight and am going to try and use the wise knowledge. I believe I should share it for others may benefit from what I gained.


"I saw you asked about become more secure. That comes with feeling good about yourself and feeling worthy. I am going to list some things you can do that may help you with that.

1.Write down 7 (or however many you think you can) minor goals for the week and tick one off each day as you achieve it.
2.At the end of each day before falling asleep write down something you feel proud about, either on the day or in the past.
3.Tell someone else how much you appreciate them, being able to be open and honest is great for self worth.
4.Say no! Learn the skill of saying no without offending the person asking.
5.Everything you do, do to the best of your ability even if it cleaning the toilets or something equally as mundane, develop a reputation as someone who takes pride in their work.
6.Walk tall and proud. walk as if you’ve got somewhere to go and you need to be there now, never run just walk tall and quickly.
9.Dress as smart as you can for each occasion, whether it be work, meeting a friend, or going for an interview. Take pride in your appearance.
10.Do something for yourself every day.
11.Learn a new skill or take up something you’ve always wanted to and stick with it.
12.Speak up for yourself in every area of your life, this might be hard to do at first but the first time you do it will be immense and if you carry on your self esteem and feelings of self worth will soar.
13.Sing at the top of your voice.
14.Forgive yourself! (You know what I mean)
15.Get rid of the people who are dragging you down.
16.Work on your strengths. A lot of people focus on building up their weaknesses, instead get better at what you are good at.
17.Take a walk in the rain………..Why?………..because you have the power to decide!

18.Reward your successes. As soon as you achieve something reward yourself.
19.Never let anyone force you to break your core values.
20.Help other people who need it.
21.Always, Always, Always be honest with yourself and others. There is no need for lies and the energy it takes to continue a lie is unbelievable.
22.Take a chance and take a risk or two. Just get up and do it.
23.Listen to your self talk and slap the little person criticising you, I mean it, imagine there are two people one on each shoulder, the one who criticises you give them a slap or a punch in the mouth and start to pay attention to the one who is praising you.
24.Don’t be afraid to accept help from other people, it means they respect you enough to help you with something.
25.Start changing your thinking to be more optimistic about yourself, instead of "I can’t do that…."say "I’ve never tried it, but I’ll give it a try"


This was courtesy of UR Worthy

Thanks UR, it is awesome!

Another day, another chance

[beatrice]

Don't worry, your reply was fine.

One thing I would add to URworthy's great list is practising the daily habit of gratitude. Every night when you are in bed think of 6 things that happened that day to be grateful for - they can be quite trivial, like a nice email, a cup of coffee that tasted good, remembering that you have money for gas and food. That you are healthy, and so on.

It is a fantastic mental discipline. And as one great poster here always said if nothing comes to mind - be grateful you aren't born in worn torn countries!

It sounds a strange thing to do when your life is falling apart, but it is a wonderful way of boosting yourself.

The author of the Hero's Spouse used to post here. She is an amazing woman.

[makingmagic]

Thanks for posting that Ambiv.. UR has great comments and I agree with Bea, gratitude is paramount. It really helps to appreciate what we do have and to be thankful for it.

Guess I need to look into the Hero's Spouse.

Tx, Magic

[Ambivalent]

Bea,

Yeah, I know about her posting here! I'm very impressed with what she has done with her life. When I saw Rollercoaster rider, it clicked...<:
;D

You know the 6 things to be thankful for is much like I would do with my younger girls. If either of them would start complaining about either someone or something, the rule was they had to come up with three positive things about the person or life.

Boy if I had to do that in my previous posts I'd never be off the computer. WHAMMO! Hit myself with a Nerf bat!

I just set of my wee notebook to the printer and am going to print out a lot of stuff.

I'm also going to use index cards to keep my focus.

I do have to stop caring about what he's doing, thinking, and saying. The sooner I do this , the sooner I can get back the me I used to like. I certainly don't want my mlcer to "smell" ANY fear or judgement!

Today is a new day...I'm going to try and get through it without feeling fear, or sorrow.

Thanks Bea, thank you everyone. I can be a tough nut to crack, but it doesn't mean I'm not trying inside. (:}

[makingmagic]

Ambiv...its all we can do, i too spin and spin and spin.... I have gotten better, I hardly wonder what he is doing. In fact, I'd rather not know....its just easier that way. Although there are times, I still wonder, and miss him.

Yes... we have just got to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Do not let them see our weakness (its a turn off).

Have a great day!

[makingmagic]

oh... i posted a bit more about cake eating... I have a question about what we are supposed to be doing... anything in your books have suggestions? please see my post on my thread.