I am so glad that you have sorted it with your father. Yes, life is hard when others judge who you are by your housekeeping habits. My youngest son and his gf are messier than me, but you know - I do not care. MLC helps us to sort out what really matters, and a messy kitchen just isn't in the same league as a loving heart and being there for you!
As to your SO, I think most of them miss us (in their own weird way. I suspect that might even be true of my xh). They seem to entertain the strange notion that we can all hang out together and play happy families.
Of course I may be making an incorrect assumption in your SO's case, but it is certainly one of the stranger strands of MLC
One thing I have learned is that are not able to be contrite - that comes, if at all , a very long way down the line. I think they know they have screwed up royally, but they are so fragile that fully acknowledging the extent of the hurt they have caused is just beyond them.
I was mistaken to expect an apology. Not necessarily wrong to ask for one though!
