Thank you so much for coming to my rescue. Although this is the first opportunity I have had to post, I read your responses to me and they all meant a great deal.
Job, thank you for worrying about me. I think that you and Heather were so very right. I was on stress overload and never really realized it. Until someone hit a nerve.
Things are all smoothed over with the family. I took them for brunch today after a memorial service for all those who passed away this year, including my parent. It was a nice service. My father and I are two peas in a pod, really. We scream and yell and explode like two volcanoes but once it is over, it is over. I doubt either of us have held a grudge in our lives. The others are a bit different though. When dad and I fight, they clear the room.
They all took it for granted that the family news gave me a shock. I know the truth though. Someone hit a chink in the armour. Bright, I know exactly what you are saying. And isn't it funny that even though we are all grown up we still on some level crave our parents approval? I am no where near even close to being a hoarder but my mother was one of those people who could not relax if there was a dish in the sink. And sometimes I have two dishes in the sink AND a glass. Maybe even a fork. So the family has deemed me wanting. I know they love me but.......
In any event, more doctors appointments this week to work around. Thank you all again for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.
MizJ. No kidding about the timing of the phone call. Haven't heard from xSO other than random texts for the past eight months (I had to look it up) and he picks the night of the apocalypse to call. I listened to his VM again. It sounded like him but strangely, not. On the message he admitted his land line was no longer in service ( I knew that) but then tripped over giving me his cell number and actually gave me a wrong digit.
I took everyone's advice and sent a response via text. I basically said that I would use much stronger words if I was going to tell him "not to call" as he had said on the VM. I also said that this past year has been a difficult year for family and I and that I needed some time to deal with some new and recent news. Then I asked if there was any particular news he wanted to share.
A while later I got a response. He was sorry for our difficulties and had no particular news. He said "just think daily of the absence of dialogue between us, wanted to see if it could be moved in the other direction. ". Seriously. The absence of dialogue. On a positive note, at least he has noticed!
I have not responded but am glad I took the step back. I need to be in a better spot for this. Bright, I think the reason that I have the suspicion that he wants to be a happy threesome is because that is what he assumed would happen when he finally got around to telling me about GF. And he made a point of telling me how much she wanted to meet me since I was his BF. I was his BF but I was also a whole lot more. I doubt he told her that, though.
Even now that he has reached out a bit (I did say thanks for reaching out) I don't trust his intentions. Neither the VM or responding text from him were very contrite. Oh, he acknowledged that I might not want to speak to him but it sounded vaguely arrogant to my ears. IDK could be just me.
This week my goal is to try to bring down the stress level so that I don't get committed. I haven't got the time.
