WTF? I'm being an active parent and doing things with my boys and she resents it. I guess I'm getting into her territory of just "handling it." Maybe she thinks I'm trying to replace her, or root her out, or get them on my side for impending D. Of course, trying to make sense of her actions is useless at this point.
Yes, gotta stop mind reading. Herding cats, my friend, herding cats is a better use of your energy.
FWIW, here are some things that W has said as she's come out (and in some cases while within):
-mad at me because NOW I step up more -jealous because I CAN handle everything, even with this "situation" on my shoulders and she can't -jealous/angry because I am seemingly happy in the midst of this sitch and she's not. -jealous/angry because I'm not sinking into depression, I "should be", right? (hey, some depression has been there, but "acting as if" covered it well enough, and like heck if I'm going to tell her that, especially during the anger stage, yup, that goes/went in the "begging, pleading" bit bucket) -jealous/angry that life is continuing on though she is not there, she's not "needed"... -jealous/angry [insert any item here].
So, two homework assignments: -read other sitches, and the archives and learn as much as possible about the anger stage. I believe your W is going there shortly, in fact, on her way there. Prep, knowledge, is power. And fasten your seat belt, and those of your kids. I hope I'm wrong, but with having to have the $$$ talk rather soon...just sayin'
-Now, about being "SuperDad"...tough question here, no offense meant...but are you doing ANY of this extra to "show her"? To score keep? Etc. It's normal to do so initially, I did, especially after all the accusations, spew, etc. It's okay if you are a bit. This is one of those areas that getting to the truth of your motives, 100%, is very valuable in getting to the real you, the better you that is there waiting to be unleashed. But I am asking YOU to ask YOURSELF the question, and answer it with blunt honesty.
The red pill isn't always fun, but all so, so, worth it.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
