New to the board, fairly newly LBS from MLC.

[tigerlily78]

**I have several years of previous web forum moderating experience if you ever decide you need a few more eyes doing moderation.

I made one of my 180s to keep the house more tidy and organized, so I am making good headway on that. I started on the garage and worked until the trash and recycling was full for the week. Still plenty to do, but it's already a big improvement. I deep cleaned our master bathroom and our bedroom. I boxed up some clothes he has had piled up in bags in one corner of the room and never wears. You should have seen the look when he saw the boxes and asked "What's this about?" LOL. I said I just boxed up those extra clothes so it looked neater. Maybe I should have said I was starting to pack his bags. :P Today I decluttered and cleaned my cookbook shelf in the kitchen and then vacuumed and mopped the floors. I can tell he is taking notice. There have been comments about how lucky *I* am to live in this nice, big, clean house. (what about him? not so lucky I guess)

After Friday's facebook post discovery debacle, and the shock of Saturday seeing that WAS and OW are still hunkydory with each other it is more clear than ever she is as self deluded about the nature of my page posts as WAS is about the longterm viability of their "love". Yep, cupcake you aren't so special after all, but I know you'll just keep pretending. They have both blocked me on Facebook now... as if that is really any sort of solution if I *really* wanted to keep tabs on them on Facebook. I am going to just chalk that up to some more infatuation induced naivety. My WAS has to know I know plenty of ways of getting around that, I am no dummy. He has pointed out several times how I am WAY smarter than the OW.

He spent most of the day in his office claiming to be "working on stuff." My son invited him to walk down with us to the basketball court and shoot hoops for a little bit, but he said he was too busy. He also wanted to know if we were eating lunch before we went. I had my son relay the message that neither of us was hungry yet, we planned to eat when we got back. WAS muttered something about if we had ingredients to make a salad. I called up the stairway that we did and we'd be back in about 30 minutes.

Had a good time with our son. The weather was lovely, he was in good spirits and we talked about some ways he could help make Dad feel more appreciated and respected ("When he talks and interacts with you, set aside what you are doing if possible and give him your full attention" "Ask follow up questions if you have any about what he is saying"). He asked if Dad was going to be spending Thanksgiving with us, and I said I didn't know. I suggested he could ask him and see, or write him a note or an invitation about it. Then we talked about what our plans for Thanksgiving would be whether Dad is around of not.

When we got back to the house WAS had not managed to get around to making that salad. I ended up making lunch for all three of us. WAS thanked me and explained part of the reason he was so busy was because he got roped into trying to fix a "slow" laptop for "a friend" (presumably one of OW's friends). I know he HATES doing these kinds of favors, especially when the person tries to tell him what to do to fix it, rather than telling him what the problem is and letting him use his degree and experience to make his own judgment about what needs doing. I validated that I understand how frustrated those kinds of favors make him and that is why when my mom had a problem recently I figured it out for her myself. I could tell when I talked to him this afternoon that he felt unduly burdened.

Sometime later after I had gone about the afternoon doing my own chores and tasks, I was sitting on our bed reading and he came and sat by me and asked if I would do a favor for him. I said it would probably depend on the favor. It turns out he just wanted me to run to the store and buy him a couple bottles of this recovery drink he uses after exercise. He said he felt like he was dehydrated and his eyes were shriveling up and he really wanted some of that drink right away. I said since I could see he was very busy and I was just reading and relaxing that I would go and get it quick (the store is less than 10 minutes from our house, so I didn't feel this was asking too much. I could tell from his body language that he was feeling seriously in need). He was very appreciative, which was nice.

When he got ready to go out tonight he further complained about what a busy day he had. I said I knew he felt like today wasn't very relaxing, but also pointed out that I personally had made almost no demands on his time. He nodded and admitted that was true. When he first came into the kitchen prior to leaving I told him he looked good, and then as I thought he was actually leaving I told him to have fun and that I would see him in the morning. It turns out he needed to run back upstairs for one more thing. By the time he came back I had finished doing the dishes and was looking over my grocery list. He came over and gave me a tight hug and told me he'd see me in the morning. I replied with a smile and "See ya."

He still gives good hugs when he wants to. Of course after he left it put me on the verge of tears. Its hard to want something so bad and know it is teetering on the edge of the cliff.