Where am I at?

[melissag]

I can see where in the past I have failed to meet her needs. I quit trying.

Same here Icecoldw. I loved to pinch my W's bottom when walking around or at the shops, nothing big, just a small I care. She constantly told me to stop it, didn't like it when in public. So I stopped it, probably not just in the public. I gave up initiating sex, I enjoyed it, but got so sick of the not in the mood, tired, sick, the kids will wake up, etc...etc. that I gave up trying.
And I suppose this is our problem, we shouldn't have given up, but tried a different approach, or better still talk to the W about it.
You last comment is right on, it is a gift we have been given. I don't like how it has been given, but boy, what a great gift to be a better person.

Ugh. I am your W. I was such a PIA about that stuff - the kids are going to wake up, I'm tired, blah blah blah. My H gave up trying because he was sick of being rejected. And I felt like the burden was too big for me to carry, so what did we do? Just lived like that. H getting resentful and grouchy, me not liking that he was grouchy . . . and now here we are. Isn't it annoying how now as LBSs we have so much figured out, and it's so clear what we should have done - just something different!!! Why didn't we figure that out before? Argh.