Quarter Life Crisis?

[flgurl84]

Happy Sunday to All, its is a muggy day in FL, breezy though, a nice warm fall breeze! lol

Had a pretty good weekend actually. Really feeling better about myself.

Went to church, almost skipped out, but I gave myself a time frame to eat breakfast and get ready and I did it and went and I'm glad I did. I tried to really pray about others, modify my prayers though.

For Example, my good friend is trying to start a family and running into frustration. 5 months in and nothing. Instead of a normal, simple prayer of "bless her and give her a baby, Lord." I prayed for God to guide her, show her that although something she wants so bad isn't happening as easy as she thought, still see the other good things in your life. I prayed for the health of all our uterus's. Me, and two other friends who should be parents, not sure if we will though.

It made me think of my own baby crazy time I just went through, which may not have helped my marriage at all. Trying not to beat myself up about it. I told Boo about my friend. I told him I wasn't really sure what to say to her, so I texted her I was thinking about her and praying for her, but I wish I could say she should try look past the frustration and don't dismiss your current life as crappy, don't feed into the frustration. (which I did myself, and look where I am, alone on a Sunday afternoon in the house my Boo built.) I hope he took understands that's how I feel now. Its hard to control your emotions. I have a daily struggle with it, but since I've been trying to control mine, life has seemed better to me.

I should probably talk about whats going on with my mother also, which is not helping matters, and Boo is hostile about it, I don't even want to talk about it with him, he just thinks he knows everything and it annoys me.

Dad died June 2013, mom has only been on first dates and no guy she liked enough for a relationship. She is very picky and many people have told her so. She could find anything wrong with a guy.

Well, ironically She met a guy with a very long rap sheet, shady background. Lots of evictions, arrests, dui's, bouncing check, lawsuits, divorced twice. His adult kids aren't much better. Just too much stuff. I can't deal. Our family isn't perfect, but my family, mom dad me and Poppy, were never evicted, never arrested. The problem is he won't talk about it or explain himself. He told my mom 1 dui and some story about how he bought furniture, had to sell it to feed his family, sold it at pawn store, and got arrested (he's a convicted felon) for dealing in stolen property and grand theft. what good was doing all that to feed your family, if you ended up on prison for 2 years. I guess they made it just fine without you there!!

I printed a large amount of info that proved there as way more than that, I mean 20 years of arrests and evictions, and when she questioned him he states he "has paid his debt and already talked to a judge, he doesn't need to tell anyone else, it is all in the past. I get that, but if there were mutliple arrests and mug shots of me on the internet, and they weren't true, I'd want to know what they were!!

I couldn't make this sh*t up if I wanted to. There are pics of him on FB standing in front of a large house with pontoon boat and docks. The caption reads "my boat, my back yard." Um, this man has no license and no car and he rents a room from what my mom tells me. WHERE IS YOUR PONTOON BOAT?

Typing this has made my blood boil. My mom is totally infatuated, she has told me mutiple times that they are serious, in love they talk moving in and marriage. She knows him, we don't. She's know him for 2 months and has alienated her daughter, her friends of 20+ years, her work people. People in extended family and friends know and are very concerned. I have 6 aunts and they all know and are worried. I just can't get over this. I wish I was exagerating about all this, but it is all in black and white, I've purchased background checks and printed his mug shots and eviction notices (7 by the way).

Here I am going through QLC (quarter life crisis) with Boo and she deserts me for a criminal. I am supposed to be going there Wed to talk. I usually talk to my mom once a day at least. Now we have gone as long as two weeks, cuz I needed to show her that I wasn't backing down from the truth. She can turn a blind eye but I can't. It goes against everything I was taught. THAT SHE AND MY FATHER TAUGHT ME.

I loved my father. He was my #1, before him it was my Poppy. My Poppy was my best friend. Dad was the same, but he was tough and when I needed it I got it handed to me. And I am a pretty tough person I've come to realize. Despite it all I feel happy, I feel like good things are coming my way and I try to project that on everyone. We can never stay down forever, you gotta come up, just everyone gets up slower, faster, different time.

I can see some of my friends on down swings, my BFF with baby girl is having arguments with her BF and she has been wanting to be alone. I try not to give her advice, even though I see things he's doing and she's saying. She kind of gets defensive, so I am just going to be there and when she asks for advice, I will give my best, but if not, I will just listen. And cook us dinner I love our girls night. And I love her BF too, so I don't think he's a bad guy but he's young, they both had ruff childhoods so some signs are there and he has been a waffler, coming and going once in her life over past 3 years.

That's what I call Boo now, my Waffle, comes and goes, isn't sure etc...it makes me laugh though, I have a Family Guy reference to go with it, Boo would get it, but I'm not gonna tell him it's because QLC!

Back to my BFF, so yeah, I love her whole little family and I will be there however I can, baby girl is 6 months on Thanksgiving. I'm excited for that.

Ok getting long. BYE for now...