Intro - hoping for support/advice on DBing

[Mimi00]

Good for you getting through last night, I know that had to be tough!

I'll respond to your question from Louela's thread about the balance b/c space and speaking the love language.

Mimi, this is kind of where I am right now - H has moved out saying he needs space to (a) figure out who he is/wants to be and (b) figure out if we can fix things. When he was here, I was able to 180 and speak his LL (physical touch - I did not initiate, but I sure reciprocated!), and things were going really well. Now that he is not here, it seems that the 37 rules view this as pursuing, which I am not supposed to be doing.

In my non-expert opinion, lol, now that your H has moved and you're giving space through no calling/texting etc.. unless necessary. But when your H contacts you or if you're invited to spend time with him as you were last night, find natural opportunities in those moments to "speak his love language". Like if he's in the kitchen and you have to walk past him in a tight space; touch his back gently (if touch is his LL) or if you all sit on the sofa don't sit all the way at the other end and be awkward, "act as if" and sit nearer him [but still giving a comfortable personal space of course] , or if he looks nice when you see him let him know or if he does something helpful tell him you appreciated it(if Words of Affirmation is his LL).etc...

So in the times you see him or he calls you, you're "acting as if" your happy to see/talk to him; yet you've set him "free". You have a PMA and every once in a while when you're around he feels a special touch or hears something you've said that makes him feel special/appreciated/smart/etc.... Then when you leave he has his space again..... it's hopefully in those times of space where he thinks back those positive visits or phone conversations and says maybe she wasn't so bad

Unfortunately for me I don't have in person chances to be w/ my H like many on the forum do. So all of my LL work has to be done by phone if the opportunity arises.