Feeling sad this morning, she took our son last night to her moms to start to unpack and spent the night. This is the first time we have spent the night apart that wasn't military related. Just sitting here by myself thinking this is the start of my life, kind of upset that not only does she not want me but she is taking my son from me.
ICW, I can totally relate to this. My H moved out on Thursday and, even though things were actually looking up before then, I've been guilty of having a lot of the kind of self-defeating thoughts that you are. I have to keep repeating the mantra to myself - there is no point in wishing for a life I don't have. I have to take the one I do have and live it the best I possibly can.
It sounds like we are a lot alike as far as trying to control situations. The only control you can have over this situation is over yourself. When you are sitting there bemoaning the fact that your W left and now you don't even have your S as much, you are being passive and accepting the role of the victim, which feels awful and does not serve you well. Read the boards. Read a book (there is a thread a few pages back with some book recommendations - I have purchased a few of them myself and they help!). Think about ways to GAL. Make a list. Do them. Think about how to 180. Make a list. Put them into action when you get a chance. Make a list of the great advice offered on these boards, so you can refer to them frequently. My favorites: you can only control yourself. Don't mind read, and make yourself a spouse only a fool would leave.
My DB coach told me to act "as if." Not only as if I accept H's decision to move out, but also to imagine that H is going to change his mind and come home in 60 days. If I knew that he would, what would I be doing now? Would I be sitting around feeling sorry for myself? Heck no. I would be making sure that I am preparing myself to be the best W I can possibly be when he returns. That's not to say that you should convince yourself that your W will come back, but that you should act as if that is going to happen - it will not only be great for you, but will help you have the best chance to get your W back.
Hang in there - I know how damn tough this is!!
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
