Divorce Busting Techniques

[Mimi00]

I think each of us have to find a delicate balance between giving space and still speaking the " love language" of our spouse.

I can relate to your sitch b/c my H lives somewhere else because of his job. When I went to visit the first time it was winter in the mountains....cold and heights aren't my favorite things, so I was a bit ify of the location but I was happy to see him. After that visit he never invited me back b/c my visit was the only time he had "negativity" there bc he assumed I didn't like it and he didn't want me to come back and ruin his happy life there again, so instead he came to visit me. The next time I saw him he was keeping tabs on my behavior....I wasn't DBing at the time, but I naturally follow his lead and it seemed that he wanted space.....but really he was watching me and seeing if I was affectionate with him etc....so things didn't end well b/c he felt we had no connection and that I didn't feel comfortable around him anymore..while I was simply waiting for him to reach out to me and didn't know I was being "watched".

All of our sitches are unique...the 37 rules and DB techniques are guides but we have to also know how to "ad-lib" appropriately when needed, if that makes sense?

I don't know if what I'm saying is helpful to you, but I felt the need to share it as i learned from the mistakes i made in a similar situation.