You answered a lot of your own questions between the last 2 posts if you go back and read them. A lot of what if, then a bunch of this is why. Sounds like its time to sit down and set some goals for yourself, start small of course, you don't have to have a list ready in an hour or a day. Take your time.
I like to do that on occasion, go back and read my entire thread from the beginning, you will see how much you've changed over time. You will remember some of the feelings you thought and how at times you didn't know how you were going to get thru them, but here you are. It takes time, you'll see how time has helped you. Let time be your friend.
Whats some of the reading that you've done, or are doing? Maybe some of us that are a bit/lot further ahead of you can offer something else, something different? The reading is a great source, but it cant be all the same type. I'm sure you've done the typical "save my marriage" type stuff, but what else? How about just a good novel/story?
