Ok, take this advice lightly, but..... Your H wanted to have a night for his sister to see the kids and he happened to invite you...... And you made it sound like her being there cramped your chance to connect with him.
That night wasn't about the 2 of you, it was about the kids seeing Their aunt.
You are indeed trying to control situations so you can " prove" things to him or feel certain connection.
Take it from the woman who made this mistake all too much.
It looks forced and fake and it actually ends up looking like it's all about you, which isn't a good thing.
Wait . . . what??? That's not at all what I did. I went over and stayed for a very short time in order to allow H and the kids to hang out with my SIL. I acted fine and happy while I was there, I said nothing and acted in no way to seem like I thought SIL was cramping my chance to connect with him.
When I come here and say that I felt like I wasn't going to be able to connect with H because my SIL was there, that's me venting. I did nothing to control the situation or try to prove anything to H. He invited me over, I accepted. I arrived on time, we had fun, I left reasonably early. I'm not sure how anything seemed forced or fake, or how he could possibly think it seemed like it was all about me. ??? Am I missing something? Please elaborate.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
