Intro - hoping for support/advice on DBing

[melissag]

I'm having trouble with the PMA. Sometimes I do OK, others not so great. I wake up each morning with a pretty bad MA. I mean, the first thing I think when I wake up is, "oh, crap, this is my s.h.i.t.t.y. life - another day with no H." I need to think of a new mantra I guess to replace that negative thought. Just not sure what it is, or how to convince myself of it.

Maybe I need to go read DR again. I think the feeling of complete lack of control is making me feel really down. I know I can't control H, but I feel like he is completely controlling me (as least as far as our relationship is concerned). I pretty much just have to take what I get from him and react to it. Ugh.