Do the online thing, and I had to open my own account and direct deposit 70% of my checks in it, and 30% into the joint account (W didn't work at this time). I paid the bills out of my account, and the joint was for food and her "stuff".
I told her what I did, and that when this sitch was resolved, then we could make my account joint with both of us, or if we D, then it wouldn't matter anyway. I told her I had to maintain the bills and finances for the kids and whatever "our" financial security needs to be right now.
I switched all our accounts to online billing, and as most of us here will tell, checked the balances daily...just had to because the spending phase was quite "interesting", and not in a good way, lol.
Hope that helps some, gives you some options to think about.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
