Discovering the buck stops here....

[mizjjd]

Hi TVS, Portia and Job!

TVS and Portia I just visited your threads and my goodness but you both are having a time of it. Things have, on the surface, been quiet here. Probably just means we're over due for a storm.

Job, I'd check on your thread but you're of course way too cool for a thread

But, I'll answer your questions here, and thank you so much for asking!


S20 is about a 5 or 6 on his anxiety scale right now. His fears are of course irrational, H feels he should be able to talk S20 out of them. The only person in H's world entitled to issues of any sort is H. The rest of us are just defective. X "shouldn't" bother us. S20 would benefit from therapy of some sort I am sure. He is a bit of a worry. And there is such a tension between him and H Its very hard for me to witness.

I think you are right, or close to it regarding D19's move. I'm sure she felt there would be disapproval of some sort. When she mentioned a possible move out several weeks ago my only comment was it would be best if she saved up some money first. She of course didn't do that lol. But she's always been a learn by experience kind of person. Tell her the stove is hot and she'll find out just how hot.

Ss 17 are doing well in school. S17B (the one who went to Florida) got straight A's for the first 9 weeks. S17B had all A's but one C. They are busy with school and their own fast food jobs while on break from school sports. But S17B does play on an indoor soccer rec league.

And about me. I am still at both jobs. Wonderfuljob has amped up a bit in the responsibility part. It seems the boss is, to many, difficult to work with/for. (Really? I hadn't noticed! Lol, you wanna see a difficult person? I can show you a difficult person...) 2 people have quit since I have been there, and another declined an opportunity because she'd heard too many rumors.

I am not thrilled with the status quo because I am always tired and rarely have down time. While I resent H's leaving at his convenience for the casino I do enjoy the break from his presence. H prattles on about future plans; I don't think he's planning on going anywhere. Although its only been a few weeks since a blow up with S20 ended with H yelling "I'm outta here the first chance I get! Just say the word and I'm gone!" (Eye roll. As if!)

I identify strongly with TVS's most recent posting. I have the feeling as long as I continue to pretend everything is hunky dory the sitch could go on indefinitely. Somehow this comes down to being on me, this break up/continuation of the M. Abdication of responsibility on H's part? Assumption of responsibility on my part?

I'm left pondering all the rights and wrongs. And just what is right? And what rights do I have? I did have an epiphany while doing dishes at fastfoodland today. It comes down, at least in part, to me determining whether or not I can be happy, or at peace, with whatever decision I make. (Fast Food Filosophy?) And I don't have an answer yet. I can, on some days, see living unhappily ever after with H. But would I be happier without H? I really don't know. I'll save you the keystrokes Job "Wait quietly and the answers will come to you." Sigh. But I wanna know NOW! I know something will happen sooner or later, things will shift, my perspective will change and those "answers" will surface. But by then I'll probably have different questions....

Oh, and here's an interesting update on the in-laws. They seem to be doing somewhat better of late. But MIL still has excruciating pain that has not been successfully addressed by therapy, medication or acupuncture. So, they are now experimenting with medical marijuana. Because of my brother's addiction issues I am pretty far in the anti-drug camp. But ya know, I can't think of two people who more need to get stoned.....

Ah well. I need to get some laundry done. Thank you everyone for stopping by. This board is so very awesome. I don't feel I "need" it like I did in the early days, but I'm so glad I found it and am welcomed back when I drop in now and again.

Blessings