Intro - hoping for support/advice on DBing

[melissag]

Oh wow. I needed to come back here for a little bit to vent and to find some wisdom to remind me what I am doing and why so I can turn my attitude around in the next hour.

So I went to S7's basketball game. H had saved me a seat next to him and was all smiley and nice. That's about where the positive ended. So over the course of the hour we were there, I learned that the kids stayed up way late, ate crap for breakfast, went shopping and H bought them everything they wanted, my D apparently now is allowed to bring her iPod Touch with her everywhere (she has never been allowed to take it out of the house before). So she all but ignored me the entire hour playing on her iPod. When it died she tried to take my phone to play on and I said no, so she went and sat on H's lap and cuddled up all pouty. On the way out, she asked him if she could stay at his place tomorrow night too. S (a total Mama's boy up until a week ago) was playing basketball and did come over and give me a hug, but the vast majority of his attention was on oh-so-cool Daddy. So basically, H moves out of our house and he's a big hero now. And, I am sure the kids' sudden worship of him is only pumping him up and telling him what a great decision he made. Ugh!!! Also, H is acting so happy it's almost manic - it's a little disturbing. I don't know if it's fake, or if he's just so happy now that he has a cool apartment and kids who worship him.

So now (in an hour) I am going to go over there for dinner so I can tell him how cool his apartment is and ooh and aah over all the crap he bought for our kids. I'd rather walk on hot coals. But I have to do it. So I need to change my attitude. Any words of wisdom, 2x4s, anything would be appreciated. I'll be here reading the rules, reading mimi's excerpts from Love Must Be Tough, and the wisdom of the other vets on this forum. I need to try to see this from his POV, stop being selfish, and remind myself that my happiness and self confidence comes from within and not from H and not from the way my kids act.