Where am I at?

[Icecoldw]

I can see where in the past I have failed to meet her needs. I quit trying. There was a time I would give her compliments and she would blow them off or not believe them after awhile I got frustrated and quit. I tried to tell her it frustrated me but it didn't go anywhere. After awhile I felt she was doing that so I would keep giving her the compliments and I felt it was a game to her.

The other problem was intimacy, she blames it on me and my dipping tobacco, I will own but she had her excuses like she was thinking about our s or bills etc, said she could take or leave sex so I never really pushed, hindsight this made it look like I didn't want her. Back in August we had a talk and I asked what she wanted in sex, she told me to read 50 shades, I did and it opened my eyes not so much about some of the sex but about the want and desire they had for each other, that is what opened my eyes to what was missing in our sex lives but by then it was to late and she has been AWOL ever since. I think we ml twice after that and I didn't preform very well because I put to much pressure on myself.