The stress level around here was very high, the tension constant.

He seemed to sense something was different with me, but didn't know why or what to do about it. First, he started being extra nice. I stayed the same. Then, he distanced himself from me. I stayed the same. Then, he went back to being nice again. I didn't waiver.

I felt a lot of anger towards him. I couldn't stand to be near him or hear the sound of his voice. Looking at him, all I thought of was how much he has hurt me.

Everything started to weigh heavily on me. I had a tough time sleeping. I felt a constant weight on my chest. My thinking was scattered.

I found myself crying my eyes out in a grocery store parking lot last Saturday afternoon. My rock bottom. I thought to myself - f this - this is not who I am or who I want to be. Enough is enough.

I went home, and H knew right away that something was wrong. He asked me what was wrong. I said - a lot.

This sparked a two hour R talk. We haven't discussed us since last January. Well, a lot has changed since then, including me.

Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me

~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."