My H and I did the alternating months thing too, about 10 years ago when marriage counseling was necessary but not an option. It was my own version of how to fix our marriage. I'm a planner, H is not. I think I went first and then he never planned any of his dates, and it fizzled out, and I was resentful. A real mutual cooperative relationship would have opportunities to share and revisit how it's going.
You might consider sharing with H that, being a planner, a few days into the month you were anxious that this wasn't going to happen, that you regret feeling that and actively tried to let it go. He might respect that. You might consider sharing with him that you think this assignment might feel like pressure on him, and see if he feels that way or you're assuming something that isn't there. Does he feel set up to fail on this? Can you have conversations like this without creating more pressure? I would hope to be in a relationship someday where things like this could get aired out.
I've noticed that he seems less of a plan in advance kind of person, and you're more of one, and with monthly dates as a goal, you're going to have to navigate that difference so no one feels set up or let down.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
