It has been 8 months since BD dropped. What a journey it has been from me. From the beginning of losing my ownself to melt down in front of W. Begging/Crying/Playing nice all of these was of no use in getting back my W. There has been thoughts of just ending everything at one point in time as I felt at that point in time that life is meaningless without W.
However in July, i must say I found a book. A Book called DR and this forum which totally saved me. With that book started my own self discovery journey. Bit by bit i found back my confidence. I started questioning my old behavior and correct them. What started out as a simple GAL, culinary became my biggest passion ever. I went from zero till a cook that others wants to buy my dessert. If anyone were to ask me to cook one year ago, I would definitely say no. However, it's a different story now.
I started meeting new people through meetups. Made some new friends, in fact i started doing things that i used to not want to do. I force myself to experience every single part of life. I'll be taking a solo back packing trip to europe starting next wednesday for half the month. This is something that I have never ever imagine doing. I'm excited for it but also worried for my safety. But nothing is ever going to stop me now.
Following my return from europe, i'll be participating in my first ever half-marathon. There's so many things I would look forward to in my life now. Would I wish that BD never happened? I would be lying if i say i didn't. However, I realized that what i gained from it was much greater. Without BD, i would have never know of my bad habits and never been given this gift of time to become a better person.
Currently, situation with wife now is that she said that she will be filing for seperation in family court in my country. There is no reason for her to contact me anymore. I have not been contacting her ever since too. I do miss her often. My trigger of sadness arises whenever i see her picture. But i'm able to let it go after embracing the feeling.
At the end of the day, I only know that I can only keep working on myself and hopefully be able to start my cafe in the near future.
