Effective communication is seeking her input about your topic of concern and being prepared to listen and give credence to opinions that differ from yours. If it's going to be a difficult conversation, it's a helpful technique to broach and listen in one conversation and save your input for the next conversation.
Your suggestion sounded like you have it all decided, right down to the choice of neighborhoods from which she can select.
If you're anticipating that she's going to be resistant to the plan, and it sounds like you think so, then narrowing it down to a choice of neighborhoods isn't really asking for her input. And you'll find she'll give it to you anyway, but from a threatened and defensive position where she's less likely to consider your ideas at all.
Starting with an open ended question and listening to her values, goals, fears and wants with regard to housing...and being prepared to adjust your proposed plan based on her input...is a better way to have her buy-in.
Expressing vulnerability rather than trying to control the outcome, should create a more cooperative environment. Starting from "I feel worried about xyz, and I'd like to ask your help to brainstorm how to solve that..." instead of "I will be doing X and want you to do Y" shows that you're prepared to respect her opinions that may be different from yours.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
