DARK - how do you do it right? I need help BADLY

[DTM]

I'd love to get some nice divorce lawyer mail sent to the house...although at this point she would probably welcome it instead of worry about it!!!!

You know... that has to be the stupidest, most ignorant posts I have ever read on this board. Seriously? Why would you stoop so low as to play childish games like that?

My father told me a long time ago to never make a threat or issue and ultimatum that you are not prepared to back up. Are you really ready for the fallout that would cause?

I am surprised no one called you out for that. Please, don't come back with some lame excuse that "it was said in fun". It wasn't funny. It is just a true reflection of your mindset as far as I can see. You are still trying to win by any means possible by being the controlling and controlling person you have always been.

Grow the hell up.

Yes, it was me venting and joking, hence the smiley face at the end...I am grown up and hurting and just looking to vent a little frustration...isn't this what journaling is all about? Saying what's on your mind, right wrong or indifferent? The feelings I have are mine, perhaps you don't feel the same way or haven't had the same experience...but it's how I feel.
Am I controlling? Yes, I used to be quite controlling and recognizing that and letting it go isn't exactly something that happens overnight...which is why the words I put on these pages aren't the words or ultimate actions that I display to my W.
After reading the 5LL and other materials I've also recognized that as a kid growing up, my father pretty much ruined it for me ...and now I'm dealing with that and making positive changes.

Like anyone in my situation I would appreciate if you could recognize the pain and depression I have over this - I want nothing more than to be the husband my W desires or I wouldn't be here and would've filed for a D myself when I found out my W had an EA/PA.