Well, I'm happy to share, but not sure the way we are handling things would work for everyone. We explained that Mom and Dad are getting separated, that means that we will live in two different places for a little while. When they asked why, we gave a very vague answer, something like, "sometimes when you're married, things can get kind of confusing, and it's good to have some space to figure things out. But you don't have to worry about that stuff, because that's for Mom and Dad to take care of." When DD asked how long is this for, H said, "six months." I know his lease term for his apartment is six months, but I am not really sure why he said that. I don't know if he really thinks he might be back then, or if he just can't handle telling them more, or what. Right now they've got it in their calendars and talk about when Dad is coming back. So maybe not the best ting to say, unless there is some sort of certainty.
So for the time being, H has the kids one night during the week and one night on the weekend (both overnights). However, we do a martial arts class together twice a week, and my DS has basketball games every weekend, which we both go to. Tomorrow night he has the kids and he asked me to come over to his apartment for dinner.
I understand what you are saying about him not feeling the consequences if he is coming over to see the kids all the time, but be careful not to punish him. You want to leave that road home nicely paved for him. Having him over a lot actually gives you more of an opportunity to DB, which is a great thing! I do think there need to be some boundaries - he should probably call before he comes over, for example.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
