Intro - hoping for support/advice on DBing

[Junsui]

Issues throughout our marriage turned into vicious circle - he said I was too critical and (once having kids) not enough intimacy. I felt insecure in the relationship and he would not give me reassurances since he was feeling badly about the way I treated him. I felt too vulnerable to give him what he wanted. You see how this goes. In retrospect, we just handled everything all wrong.

With the exception of kids, this sounds a lot like my situation. I've also described mine as a vicious circle, and my H also feels I'm too critical.

Most of my friends/family and everyone else I talk to have good intentions but tell me he's a jerk, move on, kick him out of the house, lawyer up, he's evil, etc. It hurts a lot and I really hate all the negativity. I find that when I try to just "accept it and get over it," that means i lie on the floor feeling depressed and hopeless.

Again, this is what I'm getting from family and friends so I really empathize.

I have seen therapists, lawyers, etc. Read up online and in books. And you know what I've decided? Divorce is just plain STUPID. It's so stupid that we are going to have to split up all the parenting stuff, and all of our things, and all of our finances, etc. It's stupid that we get along great, have a great time together and a happy little family, and he wants a D. It's obvious to me that our problems are totally solvable; but he doesn't see that at all. He feels they are completely unresolvable. He also somehow thinks that he has "done everything" to make this work . . . not sure how that can be true when he decided on his own to D and sticks to it even though I want to work on things. ???

Sounds like me! Except I'm starting to lose hope... it's been three days since I tried to start my own thread, but so far I'm still waiting for it to be approved. Like you said, it's really hard to do this with no support. I've seen you posting in other threads though, and it seems like you're a quick learner!