Where am I at?

[Icecoldw]

Or do you think she is making me think she is doing something to provoke the reaction she wants to justify her leaving. I know back in August, when the whole thing started I got jealous, something I have never really been in our relationship, and it stressed her out because I started to smother her. I think she still knows I am trying to look for something that points to an a.

Maybe I should quit researching mlc and was because they talk about how there is almost always an a. Maybe this whole thing has been influenced by her 2 close gf. It's just when you bring it up people go oh so she's having an a(fun) or she just has to spread her wings and wants to feel sexy to attract men.

My friend also told me that I'm thinking like a man. We always think it's about sex and that women don't think that way that they could take it or leave it. He also told me if a women wanted to have an a that we would never know because they know how to hide it, that we would only find out if they let us. I did make the mistake and told this to my w, maybe she's just playing a big mind game with me?
The couple of people I've told Sade they don't think there's someone else. The one woman said at first that it might have been but now she doesn't think so. I think she might be a was with her h, we've been talking and said she's going to leave and not get a d just to make him change or get mad and file himself.