Intro - hoping for support/advice on DBing

[melissag]

Thanks, PM. One clarification - I wasn't saying H isn't capable of taking the kids for three nights on his own (though the old me would have said that); just that I am not sure how the kids will do on a trip without me for that long.

OK. I won't pick this battle.

I can see that I have a lot of work to do in this realm - I am at a point where at least I am beginning to recognize the selfish and controlling thoughts, and I am able to act in a non-selfish/controlling manner - but I still have these thoughts. That's where my mind goes a lot of the time, and I have to redirect.

I am still working on the idea of pushing down all my needs/emotions for now. I mean, I am doing it, but it is very difficult. I guess now I know what H feels like, feeling like his needs were not met during the M, yet he was always trying to make me happy.

This whole self-discovery thing can be pretty painful - not always a pretty sight in that mirror.