New to the board, fairly newly LBS from MLC.

[tigerlily78]

Without giving you all the details, we had some R talk today. I didn't initiate it, but once it started I rolled with it for awhile. He basically admitted that I AM a good person, and he is comfortable with me, and we know so much about each other that he feels like he can just be himself with me. I agreed and validated that we seem like a good fit in a lot of ways.

I confessed a few of my worries and fears, (calmly, no tears) just as an adult in a situation who needed some assurances, even though I know there is much he is still unsure of now. He gave me some assurances (he will never sell our house and expect me to move no matter what happens, that he feels an obligation to helping my son and I be able to stay in our home). And he mentioned that already his feelings for OW are changing in some ways. (I didn't have the courage to ask which way.. positive/attachment or negative/detachment... I just replied with a "Oh, I see.") He also admitted that over the past week or so he was feeling a lot more positive about our relationship and about our potential. I told him I was glad to hear that he was feeling more positive about us. I took that as a good note to end on and excused myself to go make some breakfast.

I know we are probably not supposed to be having these conversations... but in a way they also feel like a 180. I think I did a decent job being honest about my feelings and my fears without being sad and invoking shame or guilt. He is also sharing what he is thinking and feeling in a way he hasn't done in many years. I am not going to keep TRYING to have these conversations, but it seems like if they come up and I can hold up my end of being unemotional, but honest, it seems positive. I guess we will have to wait 24 - 48 hours to see what the reaction is. Will he flip the switch again, or is this a baby step that will hold for awhile?