Where am I at?

[jp787]

Ok, I'm starting to nose dive. Too much time to think when I drive. Turn the radio on or up. Listen to an audio book (Codependent no-more is a good one)

I know I am suppose to validate her feelings and that she has been hurt deeply when do my feelings and pain get validated? Seek out therapy, also people here will help.
I can't keep going on like I'm superman and that my feelings don't get hurt because I will go back to like i was and start suppressing them again so I don't have to deal with Right now, you need to show strength and PMA, at least around her and kids. This does not mean superman, this means listen to her, be positive and try not to express your feeling with W right now, later yes this is a must, but now is not the time. Do not suppress your emotions, feelings, they are real and need to be allowed, just try not to do it around her or the kids. Work through your feeling and emotions away from them, yes I know it is hard, I am impulsive myself.


I know I'm supposed to detatch so my feelings don't get hurt but I don't See how you can care and love somebody and no matter what.they do or say you dont get hurt. You are hurting and will get hurt more, this [censored]. Detaching is not about not getting hurt, it is about not getting pulled in. It is not fixing someone, but letting them find their way on their own. It is to protect you and let you breathe and make clearer choices.


It feels like every thing that has hurt her in the past, not just me, she is doing to me. Ex she got dumped on her bday she is leaving me right before mine, she's been cheated on I don't know if she is cheating on me but the signs are there. It's like everything she was afraid I would do to her or that she accused me of doing, she is doing to me. Dont mean to sound like a victim but that is what it seems like almost like she is testing me to see how much I love her,

My W admitted she wanted me to hurt, part of her wanted me to suffer as she had for so long. It isn’t fair or right, but it is how she felt. It isn’t anything you can fix or change, it is part of her journey, focus on yours.