DARK - how do you do it right? I need help BADLY

[DTM]

Thanks for the reply - I figured I made some mistakes and also thought that the video was probably adding pressure...to be honest seeing her cry was about the second time in months that I saw any emotion from her.
I see how I need to concentrate on validating her feelings and leave it at that...thank you.

Regarding the EA, yes she had and EA/PA with her 'best friend' girlfriend back in December 2012 and I found out about it in March 2013. She supposedly broke off the phyical part but I would say with confidence that the EA is still alive and well even though they are 700 miles apart now (we moved from NC to FL)

This is a big part of her 'unhappiness' because she is away from her girl.

I don't know if she is questioning her orientation, I think it was just a convenient way to get her emotional needs met with someone in a similar situation. I don't believe it went much further than hugs and kisses...but isn't that more than enough!

She has travelled back to NC twice for 1 week each time since we moved and stayed with this woman...I'm sure you can imagine how I felt about that.

I spoke to her this morning and once again told her that I respect the way she feels and I'm sorry she feels that way. I told her I don't have any expecations and that I am here as her friend with HOPE.
She is stuck in her belief that she cannot get her emotional connection back with me, she states she does not love me. We do live in the same house, as convienent roommates...separate bedrooms for the last 1 1/2 months now.

Our 14 yr wedding anniversary is coming up mid November..I'm so torn as to what to do about it.