Intro - hoping for support/advice on DBing

[Not Quitting]

On another note, his sister and stepmother are texting me saying they want to talk, they care about me, how am I, yadda yadda. His sister I am close with, but obviously am not going to talk with her about any of this, because her "allegiance" is with H. My stepmother in law I am not close with - we get along fine, but she is probably just being nosy, so I am going to blow her off.

But, what to say to the sister, who will most likely berelaying any interesting info to H? Do I say I don't want to talk about it, or say "thanks for checking in, we are doing fine"? Not sure what to say to people who we both know, and I know will blab to H.

You're right about where her allegiance is going to be. You'd probably better saying that you're not ready to talk about it yet, rather than not wanting to talk about it. Definitely don't say anything that you wouldn't want getting back to your H. The same goes for any mutual friends you may have.

In fact, you may want to limit what you tell your own family as well - it could cause problems when/if you reconcile with your H.