You are getting asked great questions. Re-read them...answer them for you.
Have you read the write up on how to lovingly detach? You can still love your W, have compassion for her, give her space, yet not allow her control your behavior and feelings.
Originally Posted By: uRworthy
It is a process. The way to start it is to allow her to walk her journey. Allow her to feel that you heard her.
The key to detaching is to get the mindset that you can only control you. So that means that you do not allow her actions, reactions or words to affect yours.
Each day you be the man you want to be REGARDLESS of her actions.
Great advice there...probably worth reading at the beginning of each day.
Mach already mentioned that your old M is dead. Shifting your mindset is very difficult, but very worth it. I remember all the stress and drama I felt when it was me. That doesn't really change until your mindset does.
It may help to maybe think of how you would treat a close friend in this situation. Their choices wouldn't affect you right? You'd love them, and help if asked, but wouldn't give them advice unsolicited would you? You wouldn't try to force your view on them. When they spoke, you'd listen rather than talk. You'd focus on you, and your boys, and go about your life...making yourself available for them should they choose to engage you, but not waiting around for them.
