She says that she is making plans to move on (and has stated that in the past during this 2.5 - 3 year adventure). The two new things in the most recent discussion were that her next step after adopting our nephew was to file for D and that she is not sure she has ever really been in love - and if she ever was she does not know when that feeling changed.
Went to an IC for quite awhile and the place we got to was that loyalty, commitment, family and faith were important to who I am as a person (all great traits - both he and I agreed on that). That's why this is so painful for me. And the fact that what was role modeled for me was staying together and working thru problems - not giving up and leaving w/o trying everything, particularly when others are involved and will be impacted. Sort of a "serve the greater good concept".......
At the end it seemed to come down to accept that others can/will make choices that impact me and the kids that I don't agree with. The key is figuring out how to deal with that and understand that I cannot be responsible for everything.
My sense is that is what helped a great deal in getting me to mentally process things but doesn't always work in keeping the feelings and the heart lined up.
Hopefully that makes sense.........
Me-48,W-51 M-22,T-24 S- 18,16,9 Feb-Jul '11 Away from Home, after initial B date Aug-Dec '11 Back at Home on couch Dec '11-now Same bedroom, room mates only Dec '14 W files initial D paperwork
