[labug]

Makes complete sense to me that level of love/satisfaction varies throughout any long-term R. That’s why love is a choice and takes work and effort. W’s other comment during the most recent conversation was that she has finally found her voice and can now stand up for herself – in her current thinking that’s why she wants to leave so that she can be true to who she really believes herself to be. I think that right now she would say that she has looked inward for the first time and all this is a result of that. Personally, I think it sounds very selfish and that there is much more left to be explored - and yes I know that sounds judgmental but that is where I am at currently. I really do want her to be happy but am really struggling with the impact that this will have on the boys.

When the needs of 2 people don't coincide, it does feel selfish when on decides to attempt to meet their needs.

Is she making plans to move on?

Do you have an IC? It sounds as if you have a need to figure out where that guilt is coming from.