THINK LIKE HARE MOVE LIKE A TORTOISE

[Ambivalent]

Okay Mr. Bond , perhaps I mind read, but the control here is not that I'm trying to control him.

" my bringing it to his attention will not allow him to deal with what he has to do, explore."

This statement is me trying to let go of myself, and my need to know, so he can do what he needs to do. I don't want to hinder him, he is seeking . This is also part of his journey, the seeking and exploring. This is what MWD states and also H'sW
states.

I do not want to be seen by him as wanting him to not have ema's, for obviously I don't . I don't find the behavior acceptable, but have no right to try and tell him not to. He is an adult , a man and he has to decide on his own , especially this early in our separation. Me knowing adds more guilt and places ME in a situation where I have to go back on what I said years ago in a casual conversation... I said it was a deal breaker. It was one of those, what would you do if...conversations , brought on by the public Clinton fiasco .

It is not that I am trying to control him, it is that I am trying to control myself.

" That is just setting up failure, and I really don't want him to project his guilt onto me right now. "

I know he feels guilty, he has said it, and written it many times. He also believes that if he has an affair , that it will destroy our friendship, our relationship. I have this in writing and the day of the bd, he mentioned it. He also discussed this in MC back in the beginning. As for the projecting of the guilt, this came from HW. I'm protecting myself here. He may or may not project the guilt, but I would like to protect myself at this point, until I'm strong enough to deal with a possible outcome.

Right now I whither if his tone gets irritated or angry. It creates fear in me, and I want to correct or please. This isn't healthy for me nor our dynamics.

Thank you Mr. Bond, I am getting the feeling here that you want me to confront. Knowing my feelings and the temporary resolution of which I've made, why do YOU think I should confront?