I think your wife is going through an "aha" period.
I don't know if she realizes it or not, but it is manifesting as the poor me phase.
H has been there done that.
I think it shows some growth going on and a bit of a temp check from your W.
Clearing up how you feel about her presence during a family activity is a good start. Even better is the fact that you are good if she comes and good if she doesn't!
