Trying to wrap my mind around the leap of faith that I need to take. I'm realize that I'm still hanging on to the hopes that my old marriage can be rekindled. Even though everything I've read, everything our MC told us, & everything everyone has told me here is that the old marriage us dead. I think that is the Great Leap Forward that I must now make. Accepting that as fact and understanding that I'll be fine however this thing works out.
I have made changes in my life that I'm very proud of. I am trying harder and harder to understand what is happening to my W. I am very happy with the father that I can become. My relationship with S10 & S12 is growing much stronger in so many ways. I feel better physically, as exercise and eating right is now a real part of my life. I am going that for me.
I love my W and care deeply about her. I understand she is lost and wandering through a fog right now. I have yet to completely detach myself from the destruction. I am working on protecting my children and my finances from the tornado that is W's MLC. I need to find my purpose and who I really am at my core so that I can grow.
I will freely admit that I have not been very happy in my own skin for several years now. I hope that there is happiness at the end if this dark tunnel for me. New friends, please continue to challenge me and take me on the ride. I'm in for the long haul. For the commitment that I made, for myself as a father, & for the man that I want to become.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
