@NMM - I talked to a lady last night - H left her and he moved in with another woman. She didn't know about DB/DR, but she did a lot of what it suggested. Left him alone, moved on with life - the only thing she did that broke the rules was she told him she loved him every time she saw him.
Not only was H with OW - but they got engaged, they set a wedding date; he kept going to court, but the court kept having problems with late paperwork, etc. They finally went the FIFTH time, and the court reporter sat down and her water broke, so they rescheduled again.
The W's mom passed away about 2 years into the OW, and the H came over to give comfort to W because he was very close to MIL prior, and something broke. It wasn't too much later that he went to his friend's house and asked him for his wedding ring back - he BDed 8 years ago, and they've been happily reconciled for 5 plus.
The W says she STILL prays for OW to this day.
I used to repeat stories like this to myself to keep things in perspective.
